Write the cheesiest romance paragraph you possibly can

Saw this on YA and there were some pretty funny responses like this one:

I could not look away from her. Her beauty hypnotized me until I was aware of nothing else. Her smile lit up her honey-colored eyes and parted those lush, pink lips revealing teeth so perfectly white they blinded me. But only for one breathtaking moment. As my eyes gazed longingly at that exquisite face, she gracefully got out of her seat and slowly walked in my direction. I could not help shivering with delight at the sight of her statuesque figure making its way towards me. Before I could control my impulses, her fingers weaved through my own and she gazed up at me through thick lashes.

"I love you," she whispered, "more than any living person on God's green Earth."

"What about the people on Mars?" I lightly added, my heart beating a tattoo inside my chest.

Her sweet laugh melted that throbbing organ. "Yes, I love you more than the people on Mars."

Why did her delicious peach scent have to overpower my senses? I could not think clearly. "I love you more than a jar of dill pickles on Mars," I said, desperately trying to regain my sanity.

Her delicate fingers traced my jawline, seeking out my lips.

She breathed tenderly in my ear.

"I know."


Or the ones found on this page:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Avc8OeKEEBUT5ePwGgsN_i7ty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20081012161409AAtbKIQ

Her heart threatened to leap out of her chest as she dove into his velvet brown eyes.
"Eric," she murmured, "I think I love you."
Her cheeks flamed, and he traced the pink upon them with his thumb.
"I know."
Cupping her chin, Eric smiled and kissed her passionately, even as the two fell through the air, into nothingness, into death.

I couldn't bear to make it any cheesier than that!

His silver eyes looked at me from under his long, dark eyelashes. I wondered how it would feel to touch this chestnut hair, which looked as soft as cotton balls.
"You are so beautiful", he whispered, barely audible, and with a slight husk. I blushed and smiled shyly.
"Thank you." The blazing fire of his eyes slowly disappeared behind his eyelids when he closed his eyes to kiss me. I could feel my lips tingle where his mouth touched mine. Slowly, hesitatingly, I lifted a hand and let my fingers run through his hair. A soft sigh escaped his delicate lips, and he looked at me intensely. His eyes reminded me of the endless gray sky.




Ok. That's it. I feel sick, and fear that my creative writing teacher will kick me out of his class. Cheesy enough? *g*

Okay, I honestly gave it a shot. I can't do it! I keep blushing and hitting the backspace button. I love romance, but the cheesy stuff either makes me giggle, gag, or turn pink (sometimes all three). I can't write it cheesy-like. I'll edit if I work up the nerve.

Ah, I remember that! I loved writing my response. And it got Best Answer and has the most thumbs-up I've ever gotten, which makes me insanely happy.

I'll just copy and paste mine from there.

His perfect, beautiful, smoldering, deep blue eyes stared intensely at me as though he was seeing into my soul. I lay in his arms, looking up at his perfectly chiseled features, not wanting to look away for a second from the one who mattered to me more than my life, my soul, everything. "You are my sun, moon and stars, my universe, my air, the closest to perfection in such an imperfect world," he whispered gently and lovingly into my ear with his smooth, melodious voice. I smiled up at him, barely able to breathe, wishing this moment could last for eternity. At the moment, the sun could supernova--I wouldn't care, so long as he was right there beside me.

Ta-da!

M

I held his sweet smelling body close to my own, relishing every whiff of his sweat combined with caramel, just wishing for him to look upon me with those gorgeous hazel eyes. He whispered into my ears, "Sugar, you are everything to me. I want you to have my babies" and I giggled, nearly fainting with happiness. "Kiss me you sexy thang!" I wanted to say but instead, i kissed his buttery lips, melting into his warm teddy bear like arms.


ew.... that was pretty tame by many people's standards but...ew! I couldn't stomach having to write it any cheesier than that.

Okie Dokie...I warn you this will probably be horrible as I am not a fan of the cheesy romance genre, but it looks like so much fun that I just have to try.

He looked at her, his steel blue eyes had a look in them she'd never seen before. She felt her heartbeat quicken as he brushed the hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear.
"Christine?" She loved the way he said her name.
"Yes, Andrew?" His name caught in her throat.
"I think I'm falling in love with you." She stood there like a deer caught in the headlights as he slowly bent to kiss her. She closed her eyes as his soft lips pressed against hers. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach, it felt like they were doing a square dance. This must be love.



I told you it was bad.

Kelsey wrote:

Okay, I honestly gave it a shot. I can't do it! I keep blushing and hitting the backspace button. I love romance, but the cheesy stuff either makes me giggle, gag, or turn pink (sometimes all three). I can't write it cheesy-like. I'll edit if I work up the nerve.

I second that. I can't write romance (cheesy or not) for my life. And yes, there are times I'm a sucker for cheesiness. But often it only lasts a few minutes then I snap out. When I'm not under a trance, I find cheesiness kind of awkward.

She couldn't look away. His sparkling eyes imprisoned her to stand and melt, and declare forever servitude. Praying her knees hadn't given away yet, she looked adoringly into his eyes, her skin tingling. Willing him to touch her, she took a step in his direction. He closed the distance with the grace only he had, and enveloped her in his arms. She couldn't help the heat building inside her, but shivered anyway.
Still a prisoner of his divine face, she breathed the forbidden words, "I love you."

OK, gag puke die ...

hmmm... BUMP.

I'd love to read some more!

Okay. Never mind. On a certain day, I wrote this passage (because I'd been challenged by a certain LCer). A certain few LCers should recognize the passage immediately, except the names are different. Because of the time this passage was written, it does involve sex. But it isn't explicit. But it IS very cheesy. I'll guarantee that.

Oh yeah. I used Indian names as the replacements for the original names. In case you are so dense that you can't figure out who the male is and who the female is, Rahul is the male and Riyana is the female. But come on. Riyana does NOT sound like a guy's name. Sheesh. By the way, if any of you LCers need this note, you ought to be beaten for your denseness and stupidity!
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It was late in the afternoon, the sun setting in the South Pacific sky. There was a fiery burst of color in the air. Riyana stood by the ocean shore, the gentle zephyr brushing through her hair. As she stood by the shore deep in thought, she felt a strong hand gently pull her hair over her left shoulder, and a pair of soft lips following the contours of her shoulders. She felt a strong hand gently pull her hair over her left shoulder, and a pair of soft lips following the contours of her shoulders.
"Riyana...don't you remember me?" He quietly inquired while both of his hands were firmly on her shoulders. Riyana took a moment to analyze his face. There were small beads of sweat, rolling down his face. She lifted her hand to his face and soon her eyes lit up.
"Impossible. You cannot be him. But you must be. Rahul?"
He gently laughed, his deep voice filled with excitement.
"You think I cannot exist? You don't think I am here just for you?" He slowly smiled, as Riyana's pulse quickened.
"What ever are you referring to?" Riyana asked, smiling shyly while a pretty blush spread across her complexion.
"Come on Riyana. Use your head, you silly girl! You women can be pretty interesting!" He laughed as he gently picked her up into his muscular arms. Rahul turned around and slowly paced towards the villa. The fiery reds of the sunset were fading into the black night. Rahul pushed the French Doors that opened to the master bedroom open and carried Riyana into the cool room. He set her onto the satin sheets, got up, and turned around.
"Rahul? What are you doing?" Riyana questioned, not moving from her original position on the mattress.
"The weather outside is rather sultry. Perhaps you would like a vodka martini, shaken not stirred?" He asked gently. As Rahul headed into the bar, Riyana was still frozen on the bed. She could not believe that this man loved her. She could not believe that this man was the one she was destined to be with.
Soon, he came back, two martini glasses in hand along with a slice of dark chocolate cake, with a little dab of whipped cream on top.
"Rahul! You remembered!" Riyana was so elated at seeing the small olive by the martini glass. "Oh...and the cake too! That is so sweet of you!" She blushed and hid her face in her hands. Rahul pulled her hands away roughly. "You have to try that cake I brought. Will you? Please?" He asked lightly.
"Okay. I do love chocolate, after all!" Nicholle cut out a piece of cake and bit into it. Soon Rahul broke out into laughter.
"What is it, Rahul?" Riyana asked, genuinely confused.
Rahul placed his hands gently on her face and pulled it towards his own. He slowly licked the whipped cream off of her lips, then proceeded to kiss her. Riyana's pulse quickly sped up at he continued to kiss her deeply. Soon, she felt his hand around her waist, and soon, he was carrying her in his arms again. He brushed her hair with his hand and pulled her slowly down onto the sheets. Riyana could feel his hands, unbuttoning her shirt. His breath was hot on her face.
Riyana soon found her hands slowly undoing his shirt as well. Soon, the clasp to her bra let go and his hand was firmly cupping her breast. He was still kissing her deeply, all this time. She felt his hand travel down her skirt, slowly pulling it off her body. He subsequently removed his own outfit and soon entered her.
All this time, Riyana was breathing deeply and Rahul was gently biting on her shoulder. Just a few minutes later, as the last of the sun went down, Rahul slowly got himself off the bed. He was still sweaty and breathing deeply, still recovering from their earlier embrace. Riyana slowly sat up, also out of breath.
"Rahul, where are you going now?" Riyana asked as Rahul was dressing himself and heading towards the beach. Rahul turned around.
"I won't be long, Riyana." Rahul headed out onto the night beach and walked towards the ocean. After a few minutes, he paused and turned around, heading back towards the villa and Riyana.
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I must have been high on something when I wrote this. Oh yeah. I WAS high on something!

Beat that ultracheesy erotica!

Zara, obviously I cannot beat that cheesy epic win! Oh my gosh, I still laughed SO hard after so many days. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! WIN!

"Just a few minutes later"??? So you mean, he's given her the full eleven seconds, foreplay included?

Louisa Lynn wrote:

Zara, obviously I cannot beat that cheesy epic win! Oh my gosh, I still laughed SO hard after so many days. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! WIN!

Told ya! I'm such a beast!

There are so many sucker hormonal girls who want cheesiness. I should become a doctor and an erotica writer as a part time job! Now THAT would be epic win!

Once in a while, I like cheesiness, but that much, probably not. It was pretty epic, though. I win! I owned everyone on this!

Oh...this gives me a great new idea! Next time I sit in gym class bored, I'm going to write the cheesiest romance/erotica ever. Beyond this. Think Meyer times 10. Oh yeah. Then let's see who's boss.

I'm sure I have nothing better to do with my life anyways....

Laura wrote:

"Just a few minutes later"??? So you mean, he's given her the full eleven seconds, foreplay included?

Hello, writing about passionate (and cheesy) sex there. Not sure what went through my head. The only thing I could think about was "Must beat certain LCer to the challenge." So wrote on the moment, the cheesiest, sappiest thing I could think.

And no. To be explicit, I was talking about penetration in the short time. Use your brain, Laura! Who would go through foreplay AND sex in *just a few minutes*?

If it makes you feel better, we can change "Just a few minutes later" to "Several hours later."

Zara, you dork, my name is in there still!

Tourterelle wrote:

Zara, you dork, my name is in there still!

Well, I guess we all know who Riyana is...

I'm such an idiot! I can't believe I missed it! And it was only once!

Well.....at least most of us don't know who Rahul is...

Well, now it's sort of obvious...

I counted twice, by the way.

Tourterelle wrote:

Well, now it's sort of obvious...

I counted twice, by the way.

Hmm...I'll double check.

And as I said before, only 4 of us know who Rahul is...

Well, considering he's fictional, I don't think it matters.

Tourterelle wrote:

Well, considering he's fictional, I don't think it matters.

Well, even if Rahul had been real, none of us would have known him. So problem solved (unless Louisa follows up on her plan to stalk and kidnap you! )

*points at Zara* Don't put ideas in her head, missy.

Or I might convince her to come to Texas and kidnap you, too.

Tourterelle wrote:

*points at Zara* Don't put ideas in her head, missy.

Or I might convince her to come to Texas and kidnap you, too.

Is that a threat?

You know it is.

Tourterelle wrote:

You know it is.

Why? What do you intend on doing to me, if I assist Louisa in kidnapping you?