Let's be awful together

Yesterday I was bored. I hadn't written anything in a long time, nor did I feel like starting. I went on Y!A and read some fiction. You know how it is. So bear with me, I'm about to make a fool of myself with this satire. Scribbling down a really awful excerpt ended up being the most fun I've had for days.



i just thought of this right now and i know its bad grammer and stuff but i don't have time to fix it. if you can fix it for me that would be really cool

"Bellona, bellona I love you," He ssaid as he grabbed my wrist. "stop blake Im really not into you like that, i mean my mom is a dentist and yours is a blood-sucking evil vampire!!" I said, looking into his golden eyes wondering if he is also one of the things I hate worse than anything in the world, a vampire.

"A vampire killed my dad" I barely uttered the words before I leaned back as far as I could.
"I'm not a monester Bellona you know that." Jake said as he grabbed me by the waist. I could smell the sea next to us roiling into the harbor and the mist fell on his perfectly long, curly eyelashes. Each one as dark red as his exotic hair.

ok if you have any ideas for names that would rokk and where should i go from here??/





Go ahead, cast off your editing shackles and write something S. Meyer would be proud of. As an aside, I don't think half the people who responded to my plea for critique really "got" that it was a joke.

Did you actually post this on B&A, Morgaine? You didn't use your name, did you? If you did, I would love to see some of the answers you got. I bet a couple of them actually said, "Good job!" Of course no one would realize this was satire, when this is the norm for that forum nowadays. That's why the rest of us are in forums like this!

I love the ones that say "Plz read this it is long and I wrote it in a hurry but plz read and tell me what you thnk!"